try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
