ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
