Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
