remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
