My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
