whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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