Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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