so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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