you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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