We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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