Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
