True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
