I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
time to smoke my breakfast
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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