Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
