The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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