Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
