I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
