I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
