I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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