My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just had sex bonerless
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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