I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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