Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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