I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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