i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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