You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Someone signed my nipple.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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