lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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