ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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