So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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