you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
