Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
