So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
