This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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