I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
