For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
