I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
