ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
