Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
