I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
