They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
