we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
