Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My feet surprised me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
