community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
