Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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