So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The maid of honor just puked.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it because I queefed?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
