You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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