My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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