their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
