i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I understand Curling. That high.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
