Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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