dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
