My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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