We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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