Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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