he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
