Are we in a gay sports bar?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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