I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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