I want to have your abortion
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
