The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
